Disclaimer: I realize that after reading this, some of you will consider me a bad person. If you can’t read my opinion without getting indignant and respecting it, then stop reading right now. In addition, if you read this and somehow figure out who I’m talking about, and were in some way acquainted or affiliated with him, I mean no disrespect to him or his death.
During my daily “scan the internet,” I came across one advertising a memorial race, for a person that had taken his own life. Apparently he was quite a figure, and he knew a lot of people. Being a charity race, all proceeds will go to support his daughter.
I think it’s great that the local community is going to miss this guy, especially since he did so much for the community (not that I know because I’m not into his particular sport, but this is what they all say), and it’s nice that they want to donate money to support his daughter.
I was always under the impression that charity events, and events in memoriam were usually to honor a person’s life, ended by tragic circumstances: AIDS, cancer, car crash…not for someone deciding to be weak and selfish, and give up in the most permanent way, despite responsibilities to himself and his family.
Suicide is extremely complex, and I absolutely don’t understand it, nor do I make any claims to. All I can do is explain my viewpoint: I’m a firm believer in accepting the consequences of your actions, and to me, it’s one of those things that people do to escape, rather than to face whatever problem has taken them to the edge. You’re a junkie, an alcoholic, a compulsive something-er. You’ve got millions of dollars in debt, and you have made poor choices your whole life. You’re sad and lonely, and have no friends. Your choices brought you to that place, so it’s not like your choices can’t bring you out of those places. Being proactive, and positive, and also getting help (from anywhere) does wonders. I don’t take substance/physical/mental abuse or depression lightly; several of my close friends and family have gone through either, or both, and with proper help and committment to themselves and others, are recovering and doing quite well.
Bad things happen and I get that, but it’s how you choose to react to them that brings you to where you are. I understand that not eveyone is a fighter, and not everyone is strong and can deal with the consequences of their own actions and choices, but if you can’t deal with it, then maybe you shouldn’t go down that path in the first place. And if it does become too much, asking for help is crucial.
When someone kils him or herself, supposedly it’s a way to end their pain. But it’s just the beginning of pain and wondering for countless friends and family. Espeically if you accidentally brought a child into the world. The what if’s eat away at everyone: “What if I were nicer?” “What if I invited him here instead of excluding him?” “What if I hadn’t laughed at him?” It’s nice that people want to help, but it really isn’t their responsibility to care for his child. Suicide is a way for people to not deal with things, and that’s selfish.
I just somehow can’t reconcile this idea in my head.