A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes

Disney is evil. For years, it’s been making movies, embellishing upon
fairy tales and creating completely unrealistic expectations. I don’t
know how they’ve managed to corrupt and destroy the lives of millions
of innocent children and go unpunished. it’s probably because none of
us realized they were behind all of our disorders and complexes until
it was too late and they were deeply seeded in the very core of our
being.

  • UNREALISTIC BODY PROPORTIONS: Your heroines are always the same:
    Gorgeous, princesses (at least in the end), and 16-18 years old. And
    yes, they can all talk to animals, and yes, their hair is thicker than
    their waist.

    Disney-Princess-Jasmine3   ariel-fish-friends    640~Aurora-Posters

    They’ve got better measurements than Barbie. It’s a completely
    unattainable goal, thereby influencing generations of little girls and
    introducing them to the wondrous eating disorder. Give a heroine some
    curves, why don’t you?

  • THE NIGE GUY GETS THE GIRL: This doesn’t happen in real life. 99%
    of the time. Lots of times, the nice guy gets the girl and she leaves
    him for the jock, or she turns into Medusa. The nice guy in your movies
    is always a prince (or even a Beast that used to be a prince), and in
    the end, he wins the girl and saves the day.

    beast10    prince charming

    In the real world, nice guys finish
    last more than they should. And they get f-ed over far more than they
    should. It’s not fair, and it might be more relateable if your hero had
    to suffer a little and really work for something for once. No, I don’t
    consider fending off other suitors, or traveling the countryside with a
    shoe “work.”

  • THE MAGICAL AGE: Somehow, all your
    heroines seem to be right around 16 (or 18). Or they’re turning 16. And
    16 is when all thesse magical things are supposed to happen.

    MySuperSweet16

    Well let me tell you. 16 came and went, and I got nothing. I didn’t get
    a boyfriend (or married, as so many of your characters so often do), I
    didn’t suddenly look like a princess, and I sure as hell didn’t get any
    more freedom regarding my curfew or extracurriculars. I didn’t even get
    my driver’s license. I waited around for 18, and still got squat. I was
    still single, still fat, and definitely still at a 10pm curfew. That
    being said, maybe you should rethink your definition of those ages.

  • HAPPILY EVER AFTER: How is it that every couple in every movie gets to live happily ever after? How! It’s not possible.
    There’s no divorce, no alcoholism, no cheating. There’s no lying, or
    late nights at work, and certainly never any arguments. There are no
    job layoffs, or deaths in the family, and there are no stresses over
    finances (though I guess since they’re all royalty it doesn’t matter).
    It’s like every couple just gets married and relies on love to get them
    through everything.

    Disney_Fairy_Tale_Couples_by_Ciro1984

    Unfortunately, life doesn’t work
    like that, and neither does love. Life has all these inconveniences
    that are far greater than smashing a shoe, or living under the sea. And
    in real life, love might come naturally, but a relationship, a really
    good one, takes work. It’s compromise and sacrifice. It’s a full-time
    job. Love isn’t all you need. You need to be committed and willing to
    suffer. And sometimes it will work out. This happily every after stuff
    doesn’t just happen, and if it does, it’s not because of luck. Or love.

Disney movies have this way of both inspiring you and making you
completely depressed at the same time. It’s quite the interesting
paradox. Sure, you’re never going to be a size -15, and Prince Charming
isn’t going to knock on your door and sweep you off your feet. No, you
can’t talk to the little mouse that lives in your wall, or to the birds
that won’t stop singing at 4am. No, life is not a Disney fairy tale.
The stories give you hope that something like that could happen, and
even knowing that the chances are one in a billion, it’s still nice to
dream. As long as we wake up to reality in the end.

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8 comments

  1. Agreed. I’ve always been a fan of Mulan, though. She may live “happily ever after” but before that she totally kicks ass the Huns’ asses and saves the emperor.This is a little bit of a downer post… are you ok, girlfriend?

  2. Wow. You’re such a killjoy lolAll Disney movies are supposed to be for kids. I mean, they’re supposed to enjoy the unrealistic and fanatical. I mean, we don’t tell kids that that’s not true: they learn it as they grow older and are capable of dealing with it.

  3. Snow White. Cinderella. All about gettin’ a guy. Being saved by the guy. Today it’s Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Pocahontas. All about gettin’ a guy. So basically we’re screwed up because of… Disney.

  4. @rising_zero – We’re never really capable of dealing with the fact that we aren’t going to be skinny, beautiful princesses with amazing princes to come and sweep us off our feet. We just get more cynical.@SoullFire – Princess of continually broken race cars that require more attention and time than the most high maintenance girl imaginable? Lucky I’m not that high maintenance. Take me to sushi once in a while and I’m happy.

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