Cruel Intentions

This was the “joke” played on me at Christmas. Looking back, it’s kind of funny.

Well no, ok, maybe it’s not.

Maybe I’m just oversensitive?

You be the judge.

PJ and I go to his parents’ house for a 6pm Christmas dinner. PJ hasn’t gone home in weeks, so I have two Christmas gifts there that are unwrapped. We walk in, and he commissions his aunt Ludi (Mom’s youngest sister) to wrap them. The hype starts:

“Ooooh, PJ, can I tell Jojo what you got Jenna?” “Jenna, I can’t wait to see your face when you open the gift!” “No, I can’t tell you, it has to be a surprise for everyone!”

This goes on for two hours. Meanwhile, his other aunt (Rora) sees a flash of something sparkly on my left hand (a beaded ring) and nearly rips my finger off trying to see if I’m engaged. She must be listening to Aunty Ludi.

Finally, we open gifts. After all the Secret Santa gifts are done, we start handing out individual gifts to each other. Aunty Ludi comes in the room and sits directly across from me. She starts beaming and talking about my gift, and how much I’m going to love it.

Now, PJ knows not to propose in front of anyone. In fact, I repeatedly tell him (on a weekly basis) if he does propose in front of anyone other than our pandas, the answer is “No.” But because of all this hype, I start to think maybe PJ is going to risk it. We’ve been talking about it a lot lately, and with his mom and dad getting older, we do want to give them grandkids before it’s too late. So maybe he’s right, I would say yes eventually, even if I’m mortified for a few minutes.

He thrusts the gifts into my lap kind of secretly, and there are two: A square box, about 3x3x3, and a box that is clearly a bracelet or something like it. My mind is racing. He did say he’d get me the pearl ring when I got a
job, maybe he’s waited till now? This box looks a little large, but
maybe there’s another inside it? He wouldn’t propose now, would he?
When did he have time to ask my dad? How did he buy a ring and not let
me see it? God, I hope he didn’t spend a lot of money. Why would he tell Aunty Ludi first? He’d probably have told Ashely….did he buy it on eBay?

I start to open the square box and Aunty Ludi yells “NOOOOOO NOT THAT ONE YET!!! OPEN THAT ONE LAST!!!” A million more questions flood into my head.

By now the entire family is in the room. Aunty Rora, Aunty Chi (the usual troublemaker) as well as all the uncles, and PJ’s mom came into the room. His cousins are all staring, beaming. His sister looks bitter, and his mom looks like she’s going to have a heart attack. I wonder if it really IS a ring in the small box.

I open the larger box, which is a bracelet with two Swarovski pandas. I love it, of course. Aunty Ludi now tells me I can open the smaller box. The family is sitting at the edge of their seats, and it’s quiet. They’re staring.

I unwrap it, and there’s a satin green box. Green, my favorite color. He did it on purpose. I opened the box, and there was a ceramic panda, with a little row of rhinestones. The panda opens. Aunty Ludi is literally at the edge of the chair, leaning forward with a gigantic grin. I open the ceramic panda, starting to tingle with anticipation, and….

…it’s empty.

I look up, confused and speechless.

She falls back in her chair, cackling.

“HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA! JUST KIDDING! MAYBE NEXT YEAR! HAHAHAHA!”

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13 comments

  1. That’s a VERY mixed situation. It might be seen as funny for some, but it depends on the person. Some may like it and it may enrage others to have the entire family in on something like that.In any case, it would be a joke I’d never do.

  2. @jdrop – How did the rest of the family respond? I would think a least a few of them would have been silent and looked at the aunt as if she crossed the line.Call me old school, but you’ve made it pretty clear that you’re waiting for PJ to propose- I don’t see how anyone could find this humorous to play with ones emotions for such an important matter.I’m also willing to bet that if someone had played a similar joke on this aunt, she wouldn’t find it very humorous either.

  3. @SoullFire – The cousins thought it was funny, the aunts were disappointed, I don’t think the uncles cared, his sister looked happy (she’s a heinous selfish bitch anyway), and his mom looked relieved. We’re all waiting for him to propose…he asked me to marry him nearly 3 years ago.

  4. @wonderland7386 – Well, PJ wasn’t in on it, so I can’t really hold him responsible. But it was mean…I almost did cry. You laugh it off in front of everyone, but on the inside…@LiQuIdCrAzN – Thanks…I think she genuinely thought she was being funny though, which is kind of twisted. Side note, completel off topic, but i like that you called me “j.”

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