I seriously, 100% considered quitting racing yesterday.
After further reflection on the day’s events, I drove like ass, was exhausted, and there was a ton of drama with the spoiled brat I mentioned in my last post. And also….I can’t beat the girls that drive these cars (again Xanga picture upload not working):
Anyway, Christine (Evo) and Katy (BMW) are both from SoCal where you can race all year. The two of them are good. Really good. They battle each other, and Christine usually comes out on top, but whatever. I’m way, way, way behind them. And it sucks.
Not only do they have tons of money, they also have top-prepped cars. And I am poor, have the underdog car, and can’t drive for shit. I suck, started when I was 22 (which is like a decade too late), and have been conditioned to avoid danger, and be a pussy. Yes, I said it.
Sunday had no fun. And I’m not having fun when I don’t do well. I need practice but can’t afford to, and don’t have a car with which to do so. I don’t have the time for a second job, because who else will take care of the apartment, and I refuse to live in a pigsty.
I like to play Need For Speed Shift, because I find it to be fun, but not as hokey as other NFS entries.
And I am fully convinced it helps me push my real limit, because in a video game, there is no limit. No danger, no consequences. But in real life, I just can’t seem to do anything right.
It’s really depressing.