GAAAAAAHHHHRRRRRGGGG!!!!!!!

What the HELL! Were you raised in a BARN? Who does that!!! Seriously! I don’t shit on your lawn, why do you let your dog continuously shit on mine! I don’t have dogs so I don’t have to deal with this! And it’s not even in a place where it’s inconspicuous! Your dog shits RIGHT. NEXT. TO. MY. DRIVEWAY. RIGHT next to where I park my car every day!!!!! And the edge of the driveway is a good TWELVE FEET from the property line! Oh, you don’t know where the property line really is? Sure you do! You don’t mow that area in the summer – so obviously it’s not yours! Oh, it’s not you, and not YOUR DAUGHTER? IT IS! Because we saw her walking the dogs on the lawn. And when she saw us, she PULLED THEM OFF OUR LAWN, which means she CLEARLY knew it was not your property. And when I rang the bell tonight, FUMING with anger over the FIFTH PILE OF SHIT ON MY LAWN, I heard your poop machines barking. AND I heard someone shushing them. And I STOOD THERE on your doorstep for a good FIVE MINUTES and no one answered. What kind of neighbor are you? I don’t know what kind of reign you had on the neighborhood when the old man was living in this house, but let me tell you bucko. I LIVE HERE NOW and YOU SHALL NOT PASS. Is that understood? If I have to ruin the value of YOUR house by putting up a massive, giant fence between our houses, I will. I will NOT STAND FOR THIS. THIS IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE! I will not decompress from work on my drive home, only to wind myself up again over your family’s complete LACK OF DECENCY! PJ called you and left a message, and you had better call him back soon, because if you don’t, you are going to find a flaming bag of shit on your doorstep!!!!!

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