What’s In A Name?

Just as people name their pets, children, and boats, people also name their cars.

You love them, you work on them, they become part of you, and they deserve some sort of name.  There have been several Pandas (there were several versions, but it was always a super awesome, custom-built race car that was white with a black hood), there was Baby Panda (Baby, for short – she is the older model under Panda, and she was smaller, slower, and far less temperamental), and Tots (the Nissan Titan – the towing vehicle).  I drove a 2010 Miata named Newt, a 2003 z06 Corvette named Chicken, and a 1991 CRX named Smurf.

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I’m sure you can figure out why this car earned the name “Smurf.”

But the car whose name takes the cake is the 1999 FRC Corvette I drove in 2013.  My friend James had purchased it, and in an effort to get it race-ready as soon as possible, offered the seat to basically anyone who wanted to drive it, so they could give feedback. Somehow, at some point, due to a very hilarious conversation in which one of the season drivers was dubbed, “Assman,” the car took on the name Gangbang.

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Photo by Chang Ho Kim.

Because we would discuss the car often, I decided I needed to add it to my phone dictionary, for easy use with Swype.  The autocorrect would put in all manner of things, so I figured, “Why not?”  I mean, it’s a very specific pattern in which to get this word, and it would save a lot of trouble trying to type it all out.

Post-2013, I was no longer the Ladies driver for Gangbang, and the car has since been sold.  It was a sad day to see it go, but the memories of it were great.  What I’d forgotten was that it was still in my dictionary…

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Sigh.  RIP Gangbang.  And thank you, autocorrect.

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20 comments

    1. Chicken was because the guy’s last name was Kao – not “cow” but “Kay-ow.” People always screwed it up, so it became a joke – General “Cow’s” Chicken. And then there was this:

  1. Ha ha ha! A gangbang in the teeth sounds painful 🙂 I texted my mam ‘the weather is lovely heterosexual’ – I’d meant here, obviously… stupid phones!
    I hope nobody put Baby in the corner 😉

    1. BACKHAND!!! Though a Gangbang to the teeth might teach someone a lesson just as well!

      Baby is in the corner, sadly. She was the one thing I wanted desperately in the divorce, and he refused to give me.

      1. There’s one solution!

        I think the moral highground is calling my name, unfortunately. The moral highground and a super hot new boyfriend that is the perfect gentleman and has oodles of money to buy me shoes and alcohol? 😛

      2. Me too. 😛 But it’s not seeming like that companion is up there, and so it’s far less fun alone. I might as well walk on a different path and have better company!

      3. Ok so I skipped the alcohol and went straight for tea – walking home in the freezing sleet doesn’t do much good.

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