Life is a Highway, Part 14: Bryce Canyon National Park

I grew up near the beach.

When I was young, I’d sit at the shoreline and would make sand-dribble-castle things.  You know, take a fistful of wet sand, and let it drip out, and you’d get this sort of conical lumpy mass that was actually quite pretty when you had a bunch of them.

After the winding road out of Zion, I headed to nearby Bryce Canyon.  I hadn’t done much research aside from where it was on the map (Pro Tip: it’s close), so I wasn’t sure what to expect, but when I saw it, I was immediately transported to Narragansett Beach, circa 1993.

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Upon arrival, it was sunny and warm, but as I drove through the park, it started to set.  And yes, drove through.  You can see this entire park via car, and pulling over a few times.  There are hikes, but if you’re pressed for time (like I was), you can hit the viewpoints and drive to the next one.

Image from

Start at the top, work your way down!   Image from

The thing is, even when driving through, the place is huge.  Vast.  And at sunset, the different points were really something.  It’s amazing how much a landscape can change in different lighting.  Seeing the same thing from different angles can really enhance your understanding of it – which is not only meant literally, but also figuratively.


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Don’t be fooled, though.  I may have been surrounded by this absolutely majestic landscape. but I’m still me.  Look closely at the rock formations on the left of the trees.  What do they look like to you?  Because to me, they looked…..Maybe, as a result of spending nearly every weekend for the past decade with 200+ men, my mind is permanently in the gutter.  Or maybe I was just incredibly randy.  But my immediate first thought was, “Why does everything look like penises?  See?  That one’s a penis, and so is that one, and phew, it’s a good thing they aren’t really shaped like that one….”  I was not alone in my thoughts, as I overheard other hikers pointing and laughing, but I can’t say I was mature and didn’t giggle every time I got to a stopoff….

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Penis rocks or no penis rocks, Bryce Canyon was still beautiful and I cursed my poor planning for not allotting a full day in both places – Zion and Bryce – as I was really into the idea of seeing it from the ground level.  There was just so much to take in, so many interesting rock formations, (and I bet they wouldn’t be so phallic from the bottom up).

Overall, the canyons and the sunset were breathtaking, and even though my trip through was short, the drive was incredible.  When you see things that are so old, that have so much history, you’re reminded of the fact that we are indeed so small, and change, growth, and life, will always go on.




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