“Must Be Nice To Have Boobs”

Yesterday, I was on my way to a housewarming party. I had to go through a few tollbooths, and I was coming from 75mph. I accidentally stayed too far left, and needed to get over to the right, but there was an old Toyota Camry pacing me.

I sped up, noticed the cop hit the brakes, and went through the tollbooth. Once through, I saw the cop behind me and he turned his lights on.

“FUCK.”

He came up to the passenger side of the car, and I was leaning over PJ, trying to talk to the cop through the open window. 

He took my license and registration, read them, and asked me a few questions, as I kept leaning over because he was having trouble hearing. I had to keep leaning further and further – I’m not horribly loud and we were on the Mass Pike.

Cop: Whose car is this?
Me: It’s my dad’s.
Cop: You have a different last name?
Me: No, D’Amico is my middle name now.
Cop: Oh, ok. The speed limit at the tolls is 40 mph. I had you clocked going 59.
Me: I’m sorry, I was trying to get around the car next to me, I should have slowed and gone behind instead of in front.
Cop: How many times have you been pulled over in Massachusetts?
Me: I’ve never been pulled over in Massachusetts.
Cop: Never? Ok, well, just slow down and don’t do it again, I don’t want to see anyone get hurt.
Me: Ok, I’m sorry, thank you.

The cop went back to his car, PJ rolled up the window, and turned to me.

“You. Are. So. Fucking. Lucky. Must be nice to have boobs.”